Ask this question and you’ll hear: confidence, a commanding voice, practice, humor, ability to tell good stories and so on.

Ask people in the Corner Office, as the NY Times did in a recent article, and you will hear a very different answer. In the Sunday Business Section, Don Knauss, Chief Executive of The Clorox Company spoke about leadership. His views go right to the heart of great communication, “If you’re going to lead these people, you’d better demonstrate that you care more about them than you care about yourself… they’d better think that you care more about them than you care about yourself. They’re not about making you look good. You’re about making them successful. If you really believe that and act on that, it gains you credibility and trust.”

Leave out caring and you have a speaker who lacks memorability and influence.

A great speaker must be motivated to generously give what matters to the listener.

Content and delivery are important, sure, but your message is an airless tire if the speaker does not put the listener first.

Knowing your material, a full deck of colorful slides and practicing over and over does not produce a speech that matters. Taking into account the concerns of your audience and caring about their experience raises the message from mediocre to memorable.

Put the listener first and you’ll be the first one they remember.

Public speaking is anytime you are speaking to someone other than your self.

And Shakespeare said it long ago, “All the world’s a stage”.

I think he sees conversation the same way I see it. We live very public lives and every time we speak or are in the presence of another person we are “on”.

But people tend to focus on improving their speaking skills when it comes to those big presentations or media appearances. That’s all good but if we don’t apply the same attention to teleconferencing, social media and networking events not to mention day to day departmental meetings and casual conversations then important opportunities are being lost. The result? Loss of impact. Loss of credibility. Loss of momentum. Loss of income.

What to do?

Don’t wing it. Rather use the wings to prepare.

Just as an actor stands out of view of the audience to get into character, so should a professional pause before entering a room, a meeting or a phone call.

Stop.
Assemble. Gather your ideas so you leave behind one that’s memorable.
Intention. Aim your words so that they matter to the listener.
Dialogue . Listen to them with the focus on understanding not responding.

Do this and the repose will be, “Well SAID” more often than not.